


Xquic

by PunishedPyotr



Series: The Esteemed aireyv Crashes Rarepair Week [7]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Dirty Talk, F/F, Oral Sex, vague hatemance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 18:40:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14699973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunishedPyotr/pseuds/PunishedPyotr
Summary: The woman didn’t give her real name, instead introducing herself as Dr. Strangelove. Fine by EVA, she didn’t give her real name either. Instead Strangelove got right to the heart of the matter: You were a part of Operation Snake Eater, weren’t you? You knewher. You knew The Boss.





	Xquic

**Author's Note:**

> How do I thank my girlfriend for helping me with this fic without it sounding lewd?

EVA’s first impression of the woman was that she was an odd duck.

She was pale in the extreme - an albino — burned abnormally easily in the sun, and had sensitive eyes requiring her to wear sunglasses even indoors. And what an indoors it was, apparently the woman was so dramatic she had an AI lab built in some Mayan ruins. At this point in her life EVA didn’t even bat an eyelash at this kind of grandeur.

The woman didn’t give her real name, instead introducing herself as Dr. Strangelove. Fine by EVA, she didn’t give her real name either. Instead Strangelove got right to the heart of the matter: You were a part of Operation Snake Eater, weren’t you? You knew _her_. You knew The Boss.

EVA confirmed she did. Strangelove had beautiful eyes under her sunglasses but they were currently giving EVA a sharp look.

“So, then?” she said.

“So what?” EVA said, folding her arms. From the looks of things, Strangelove currently worked for the CIA and through that (and therefore Zero or something, she wasn’t sure) had gotten in contact with EVA and demanded that she come to Costa Rica for the express purpose of being interrogated about The Boss.

EVA never really claimed that she knew The Boss all that well but she was starting to think she knew her better than Strangelove did.

The two of them were alone in Strangelove’s office; EVA sat on her desk, legs crossed at the knees. It was amazing how much Strangelove knew about The Boss, but it was clear her sources were limited and flawed. She didn’t know some things, had the wrong facts about others. She hadn’t even known about the time The Boss had spent as an instructor at one of the Philosophers’ charm schools — something EVA told her about with glee, dangling tantalizing hints in front of her and never fully committing to telling her anything meaningful.

Her AI pod loomed huge and silent in the corner of the lab. Somewhere a radio played old pop music, never anything newer than the summer of ’64.

“What exactly _was_ your relationship with her?” Strangelove said.

“I told you, didn’t I?” EVA replied, “she was my teacher - and then she was my enemy.”

“You two weren’t enemies,” Strangelove said dryly.

“…true. The Boss knew who I was, she covered for me.”

“Now, why would she do that?”

Strangelove sounded entirely skeptical of the whole story, and EVA couldn’t blame her. Why would The Boss, who valued her mission more than anything else, actively aid someone she knew was a Chinese spy? …Strangelove was clearly in love with The Boss but didn’t seem to think that she would ever be influenced by her emotions.

After all, having personal feelings about your comrades is one the worst sins you can commit.

And who knew that better than The Boss?

“Did you ever find out,” EVA said abruptly, “if she was actually interested in you?”

“…” Strangelove looked down under her sunglasses.

EVA smirked. “Hm? I suppose she wasn’t. I caught her in the showers once, you know.”

Strangelove tensed; EVA wouldn’t have noticed it if she wasn’t trained to pick up on that kind of subtle body language. “Is that so,” she said flatly.

“She was, what, middle-aged, with an adult son - she looked pretty good. Obviously, she kept in shape, but she wasn’t one of those women who get so muscular they no longer look feminine.”

“I’m aware.”

“And she had a scar, here,” EVA said, tracing a finger down her torso, between her breasts and over her stomach.

“Yes, I know,” Strangelove said, “it was the result of an emergency c-section on the beaches of Normandy. Obviously the person performing it wasn’t quite sure where the uterus is located.”

Aw, Strangelove was cute when she got all sarcastic. EVA’s smirk widened. She shouldn’t tease. “Did she tell you about that?”

“…no. I read it in her records. I have no idea who her son is.”

EVA wasn’t mean enough to inform Strangelove that The Boss’ son was, in fact, an irritating gay cat with a torture kink, a cowboy fetish, and stalkerish tendencies towards The Boss’ other, metaphorical son. Instead she said, “So you’ve never seen that scar in real life. Up close?”

“I. Of course I haven’t.”

EVA _was_ mean enough to laugh at her.

Strangelove was flustered, indignant. “Catching a peek in the shower is hardly something to brag about.”

“Oh, it wasn’t just a peek,” EVA assured her, “I didn’t even try to look at her, I figured she’d prefer her privacy while taking a shower. _She_ came over to _me,_ completely naked.”

“What- why?”

“She was checking me out, too.” Well, checking out her wounds, that was right after an… encounter… with Volgin and she was a bit… roughed up. “Just walked right up to me.” She casually unbuttoned her shirt to just below her bra. “Touched me, too. You know how forward she was… don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Strangelove snapped, then recomposed herself, eying EVA. Like EVA couldn’t see that she had her eyes on the prize (EVA’s tits) under her sunglasses? “Anyway, you’re very attractive and all, so—“

“Oh, that’s kind of you to say. You really think so?”

“Don’t be so smug. You’re a honeypot, you’d be out of a job if you weren’t attractive.”

EVA frowned, folding her arms again. “I’ll have you know I’m doing different things with my time these days.”

“That being?”

“I can’t tell you - besides, it has nothing to do with what you called me here for.”

“You’ve been refusing to give me any solid information about what I called you here for.”

EVA crossed her legs the other way. She caught Strangelove’s eyes tracking them. “You just want to hear about what The Boss and I did in the showers in explicit detail, don’t you?”

“Hn.”

“But do you really believe me? I mean, I’m a spy. I lie, I make things up. I did catch The Boss in the shower and she did come over to me, but anything that happened after that… maybe it’s just fiction.”

“And maybe I’m interested in hearing this fiction,” Strangelove said with a sharp note to her voice.

EVA shrugged. “Come a little closer, why don’t you?”

Strangelove was sitting in an office chair, so it was a simple matter for her to kick off and roll over. As soon as she did, EVA uncrossed her legs again and planted one foot on Strangelove’s chair, next to her hip. She unfolded her arms, leaning back, letting her shirt fall a little more open.

“Well, we know she wasn’t interested in _you_. Did you ever think she might have been interested in women in general, though?”

“She hardly would have been in a position to advertise it if she was,” Strangelove said dryly.

“Hmmm. True, but communal showers are practically a different planet. And she and I were the only women in Groznyj Grad. So maybe she was feeling a bit lonely for female companionship…”

Strangelove’s hands twitched.

“Or, I don’t know, maybe she just wanted to blow off steam and dominate someone, _anyone_ , and I was just there and she knew I wouldn’t talk.” EVA rested her other foot by Strangelove’s other hip. “And that I wouldn’t mind doing what was asked of me.”

“What did… she ask?”

“Well, first she asked if it was alright if she touched me. She was very gentle, you know. She could have piledrove me three feet into the floor with those arms but she treated me like I was made out of spun glass.”

“I see,” Strangelove said, with a little breathy quality to her voice.

“I was just about melting within a few minutes… the showers were running, so I didn’t have to worry about anyone hearing if I made any noise. It felt so good…”

“Where did she…?”

Faster than Strangelove could react, EVA kicked up her legs, hooking her heels into the back of Strangelove’s chair and jerking the woman forward so that she faceplanted on her stomach.

“!”

“Where do you _think_ , doctor?” EVA said, bringing a hand around to pet Strangelove’s hair, squeezing her thighs around her shoulders. “I’m sure you’ve imagined the exact same scenario before.”

Strangelove pulled away, but didn’t roll her chair back, so EVA let her. Her mouth was slightly open and she was blushing in that bright red, blotchy way so typical of pale people. Behind her sunglasses her eyes were burning. “Then get on with it.”

“Hmm… she got me worked up enough that I was finally able to relax and forget about all the stupid things going on in that Operation. But she wasn’t just going to get me off for free.”

“So what did she ask?” Strangelove pressed, a little shiver going through her body.

“She asked me to get on my knees in front of her.”

As soon as EVA said that, Strangelove slid off her chair to her knees, hands flat on her thighs, looking expectantly up at EVA with her lips still parted. She seemed entranced by EVA’s story. EVA took her cue to scoot forward on the desk, spreading her legs.

“And she asked me to eat her out.”

“She did not,” Strangelove murmured, raising her hands to tug down EVA’s pants.

“Sure she did.”

“Then what did she say, exactly?”

“Oh,” EVA said, tossing her head. Strangelove met resistance before she could get the pants down far enough on EVA’s thighs, so EVA helped her out and raised one leg so she could get one pant leg off entirely. “I don’t remember the exact words.”

“If she had asked me,” Strangelove said, taking off EVA’s boot, “I would have committed them to memory.”

“I’m not you. She didn’t ask you.”

Strangelove put the boot down, giving EVA a sour look, but finished getting her pants out of the way. “I told you, don’t be so smug.”

“Excuse me. Which one of us got to fuck The Boss?”

“ _Neither_ , oral sex is not fucking.”

“Semantics.”

Strangelove pushed EVA’s shirt up out of the way, and EVA’s confidence faltered a bit. She gave birth to twin just last year, so while she’d dropped (most of) the leftover pregnancy weight by now (still had a bit of a tummy, but she didn’t mind that part) she still had stretch-marks, which she was sort of self-conscious about. Strangelove picked up on the insecurity immediately and latched onto it, completely pulling EVA’s shirt to the sides.

“Hey, watch it, you’re— the buttons-!”

“You can fix them later,” Strangelove said coolly. Now she had her hands on EVA’s thighs, pushing them apart again, the situation flipped so _she_ was the one in control. EVA, slightly timorously, elected to see where this was going.

Strangelove grabbed a pair of scissors off of the desk EVA was sitting off and matter-of-factly cut off her panties.

EVA sputtered. “I don’t keep a damn backup pair in my pocket, you know!!”

“I know,” Strangelove said, looking up at EVA over her sunglasses, under her eyelashes. “So when you leave here, you’ll just have to go without them.”

“You—“

Strangelove tossed the ruined panties into the trash bin, and leaned forward between EVA’s legs.

EVA put her hand over her mouth to avoid making any embarrassing noises as Strangelove slid her fingers over her skin towards her groin, brushing gently across her labia. She was close enough that EVA could feel her warm breath on her, and inhaled sharply.

She was sort of expecting Strangelove to say something snide or smooth, so she was surprised when instead she pressed forward, mouthing rather indirectly at her vagina at first and then catching her clit with her tongue.

EVA made an embarrassing noise.

Thankfully Strangelove didn’t pull off to comment, she just chuckled, the vibration of it resonating through EVA’s body, making her shiver. She was paying entirely too much attention to her clit - was sucking on it by now — the situation, the back-and-forth had already made EVA wet enough and by now she felt horribly sticky and swollen.

Strangelove looked up at her as she tried not to squirm. _Enjoying yourself?_ her expression said.

“I—“ EVA started.

“Shh.” Strangelove slipped two fingers in, and pushed her tongue against EVA’s clit. EVA’s legs jerked, one knee knocking against Strangelove’s shoulder, the other held in place by a gripping hand on her thigh.

Strangelove had to be so fucking methodical about it when EVA preferred it careless and sloppy - it was less intense that way, letting EVA keep her cool instead of devolve into a shuddering, whimpering mess. Shuddering, whimpering mess seemed to be Strangelove’s goal, though, or else she was just naturally as brutally precise with cunnilingus as she was with her work. It didn’t take very long for EVA to orgasm hard, and Strangelove just lapped it up and _kept going_.

“Oh- god—“ EVA gasped, running her fingers back through Strangelove’s pale hair. She bucked her hips up against her face as another orgasm seared through her way too soon after her first one. Strangelove knew _exactly_ what she was doing and poor EVA generally only slept with brutes and dumbasses. Literally no one had ever ate her out this good, probably because she almost never got ate out.

Jesus, she was actually almost crying over this. She let out a low moan as Strangelove brought her to a third (fourth? …fifth?) orgasm. She was crazy sensitive by this point and Strangelove’s mouth just didn’t— _stop_.

“Stop, oh my god. I can’t take a-any more of this—“

Strangelove stood, rolling her eyes. Her lipstick was smeared and the whole bottom half of her face (her nose, too, from where she kept nudging it against EVA’s clit when her tongue travelled down) was visibly wet in the lab’s light. “What’s the matter?”

“Do you have _any_ concept of ‘too much’?” EVA panted.

“Mm. No.”

Putting her hands on EVA’s hips, Strangelove leaned forward and kissed her. With tongue. Smelling and tasting like… well… EVA.

“So?” Strangelove said, pulling away.

“So… what?” EVA said, dazed.

“Is that what you did with _her_?”

“Ah… yes. Yes, it is.”

“You’re a sorry substitute. But I’m glad one of us got to do it.”

“Mmn.”

Strangelove let her go after that. Apparently she’d come to the conclusion that EVA was useless as far as getting further information about Operation Snake Eater went — EVA suspected that soon she’d be going after Snake himself, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t any of her business anymore.

Straddling her bike to ride away from the Mayan ruins made EVA wince. Nevermind that she still felt kind of raw, these were absolutely not appropriate pants to go commando in _while riding a motorcycle_.

EVA swore under her breath. “I hope she never reproduces.”


End file.
